expiationmeme | tfln - aldrip edition!!

1. And then she tried to convince me that biting people is local way of greeting newcomers.
2. I'm not sorry for yelling at you.
3. First base is Stabbing.
4. Oh. I don't know. Have you tried to set yourself on fire today?
5. I knew he was the one when I saw him punching the lights out of his therapist.
6. Txt him!!

i. i woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. luckily, she had written it on my hand!!! love prepared people!!

ii. i don't even know why i got arrested this time. i think jerry just likes my company at this point

iii. the worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and i get laid.. i'm okay with my end of that bargain

iv. do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming

v. holy shit i'm 23! that took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, i need to keep buyin weed from this kid

iv. 75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.

a. ok what is it with u and NOT stocking ur fridge whenever i break in? b. so what if i tied the bozo who was hitting on u to a tree and left him in the forest to starve. dont u have a sense of humor? c. whats ur least favorite thing in the whole world? d. hey, if theres a stuffed shark in ur bathtub, leave him alone. hes trying to unwind. he had a rough night. e. (misfire/nsfw) who's in charge tonight, u or me? should we ask someone to pick a number between 1 and 10 from our list then go from there? ㅇㅅㅇ f. the locals are such dimwits! i overprice this chick for some honey fruit and she didnt even question it!! what a sucker. g. want see me do target practice with some crows? h. (text her)

(ooc: for letter b, if your character is into girls, feel free to switch the pronouns around!)

Edited 2023-11-10 17:13 (UTC)

a.put an egg in my coffee filter dis morning i think i am still drunk.
b.who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
c. we HAVE another bedroom, its not like i was gunna chain you into the closet. often.
d. i wasn't even hungover i was just mourning my dignity
e. one of the last things i remember from home is a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...i think thats a compliment

Edited 2023-11-10 18:25 (UTC)

1. there's a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you

2. he's trying to wipe up the spilled drink with a banana

3. make sure I look cute passed out on the couch

4. this guy calling his dealer in front of me and trying to act like it's a normal call....

5. be great if I knew whose teeth were in my pocket

6. [Pick your own text!!!]

1. You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
2. I'm currently unavailable. Leave a message since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining people's lives.
3. My deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
4. He just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
5. [ Choose your own adventure ]

1. i fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
2. last time i carry you out of a forest.
3. you're doing that 'overestimating how much i care' thing again.
4. i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining.
5. [ Choose your own adventure ]

1) Potential corruption. He's mortal. Get them while they're young.

2) Clothes are such an inconvenience.

3) I am too young to be this hung over.

5) I have officially sinned in all of my robes. I can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.

6) All I remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed.

7) You were mass sexting so we took your phone away.

8) Text him!

1. You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.

2. The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes.

3. Just got yelled at by a priest...again.

4. You did a full monologue with your sober self last night. Different voices and everything.

5. I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.

(NSFW) 6. If I desire to spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so.

1. You threw a sword at me last night.

2. I got lit on fire and someone went to jail yesterday. They were unrelated incidents though.

3. There is a man in a thong with a wooden axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Aldrip, I suppose.

4. They started calling me The Incident at the inn. I am not allowed there anymore.

5. If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, kobolds are more or less flammable than humans?

6. You told me I was beautiful then asked if you could braid my hair.

7. I like being the chaos I wish to see in the world.

1. Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
2. Shame is for Imperials.
3. I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
4. drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
5. I basically have sex lined up for me in three different star systems. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
6. Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
7. Wildcard!

1. If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
2. There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
3. Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
4. i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
5. we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
6. Wildcard!

1. Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
2. Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
3. When did angry sex become our thing?
4. she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
5. Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
6. Wildcard!

1. When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
2. Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
3. Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
4. I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
5. It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
6. Wildcard!

1. There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
2. Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
3. And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
4. He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
5. Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
6. Wildcard!

01. You broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
02. I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night could be really awkward.
03. All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail
04. I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
05. You just sent 10 texts in a row saying "help" and then a picture of you crying.
06. It still wasn't the weirdest date I've ever been on.
07. Not to sound dramatic, but I might be dying.
00. text him!

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