expiationmeme | TEST DRIVE MEME #3

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TEST DRIVE MEME #3

TEST DRIVE MEME #3

Welcome to the TDM for Expiation, a pan-fandom adventure game with fantasy, science fiction, and some horror elements. We ask that top-level comments are reserved for new characters and players looking to experience a taste of the world and overarching storyline. Characters already in the game, however, are free to use TDM prompts in their own catch-alls and logs. Feel free to submit any TDM / prompt-related questions to the corresponding comment below.

New players / characters looking to app are free to use TDM threads as samples in their application. Preexisting players / characters may use TDM threads as part of their AC proofs (with the stated limitations).

You may find the below links helpful in getting to know themes of the world, locations, the people, and so on.

info | world

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN...

BRAVE NEW WORLD (ARRIVALS)

After receiving the paper with your sentence, the whole world quickly becomes dark and you find yourself falling through what seems to be an infinite void. You lose track of time after a while, but as soon as your focus seems to waver, your vision clears and you find yourself resting rather unceremoniously in a pile of seeds used for chicken feed.

Once you make your way out of the grain silo (and we of the moderator team wish you good luck in finding a fun way out of it), you may find that several other people have been dropped into the world just like you have. Some are disoriented, others are panicked, and others yet are simply angry about being brought somewhere against their will. Amidst the chaos of new arrivals to the world of Expiation, the newcomers will find that there are some people in the crowd who seem a little more familiar with what’s going on.

These people will tell you that you find yourself in a strange new world, and that it’s best to make your way to a nearby town called Aldrip to get settled down there. It’s a few hours by foot away from this area, but it’s the only place in the nearby area that can accommodate newcomers like you.

WE LIKE TO PARTY (WE LIKE, WE LIKE TO PARTY)

Recently, many Chosen have emerged victorious from a hard-fought battle, taking out a gargantuan creature that threatened to suck the energy from the whole area surrounding Aldrip if it had not been stopped. Such efforts do not go unrecognised, and in the aftermath, the locals all decided to band together to celebrate their saviours’ heroics. Nothing less than a village-wide party and parade would be fitting for such an occasion.

This is an undertaking that will likely take a significant amount of effort. While the locals wanted to make this into a surprise, many of them lack skills to put the thing together properly. Chosen who want to get involved in the preparation process can put their organisation and culinary skills to the test to create fixtures and food for the event. Better yet, your efforts over the past months have improved supply routes into Aldrip, meaning that the food shortage has passed, and you’ll have just about anything your heart desires for the occasion.

Alternatively, you can choose to enjoy the spoils of your efforts! Once the day of the party arrives, Aldrip will erupt into a full-scale celebration, and all Chosen are encouraged to party as hard as possible. Good food, good drinks and good times will be in no short supply for the occasion. Additionally, those who took to the front lines in the previous event will be revered as heroes and likely spoiled rotten.

THIS IS HOW YOU GET ANTS

PLEASE PARTY RESPONSIBLY

It’s no understatement to say that some of the Chosen like to party hard- and that’s quite alright! A few days ago, the people of Aldrip had already set aside a few rooms in the inn to act as an infirmary for those who had been injured during the battle with the Branded. It took little effort for them to expand this project into a full medical wing for those who would undoubtedly be acting irresponsibly during the festivities.

It’s up to you to decide what circumstances brought you here. Perhaps you were injured in the previous battle, and have been stuck in bed as you recover from your wounds. Maybe you had just a little too much to drink, and you decided to come by while you collect yourself. Regardless of what your reason for being there may be, the people of Aldrip have guaranteed that you will receive the best of care.

With that said, the place is terminally understaffed. Aldrip’s locals will certainly appreciate any assistance they can get- even if your character might not have the best training or bedside manner. Medicine can’t be that hard- what’s the worst that can happen?

MR. MAGNIFI'S MAGNIFICENT MIXTURES

Once word of the upcoming celebration spread, several individuals from outside town came in to offer their services or goods in Aldrip. One such individual came into town riding on a rickety cart with the words “Miraculous Magnifi’s Medicine! Guaranteed to heal what ails ye!” emblazoned in gold on its side. The thing smells a bit off, with a strong chemical scent coming from the back, but the moustachioed man who emerges from the back assures you that all of his “mixes are made with meticulous ministrations!”

Those who buy and consume the potion might find themselves feeling strange over the next few days as symptoms emerge. Some people wake up to find that their hair has taken on a rainbow of colours during the night, that rats cuddle up to them for no reason, or that their irises have been replaced with strange spiral shapes. Feel free to come up with inventive but harmless side effects for the miracle elixir- it’s meant for some good fun.

They’re strange symptoms for sure, and certainly not the advertised cure-all. However, Magnifi is already gone by the next dawn, meaning that no one can get a refund. Thankfully, the symptoms will go away after a few days, but the chaos that ensues in the meanwhile will certainly make for some fun stories.

IT'S NOT OVER

♪♫ LET IT GROW ♫♪ ► (FUTURE EVENT TIE-IN)

The party celebrating the dread beast’s defeat can be heard from miles outside of Aldrip, but the situation is not quite yet resolved. Much of the once-lush forest outside of Aldrip had its life force absorbed from it, leaving little more than profaned ground and an overwhelming scent of rot. Worse yet, there are reports that some of the beast’s severed golden tendrils have taken on a life of their own, creating snake-monsters that threaten the local wildlife.

However, the monsters are not the only new arrivals in Pessiria Forest. Those who go to investigate the area will find that fairy-like creatures have gathered in the profaned land and are trying their best to help bring the area back to its former glory. At first, they seem to keep their distance or ignore you entirely, but after determining that you mean well, they inform you that they can temporarily bless the Chosen with the power to make full-sized plants burst forth from the seeds they plant into the ground.

It’s still going to be hard work. Even with the power to bring plants to life, planting seeds in the miles of dead forest will likely take a very long time. Still, these strange fairies could use the help, and tough jobs can be better if you bring a little help from your own friends. (Or enemies. No one’s going to judge you for who you bring.)

WHAT'S THAT MYSTERIOUS LAUGHING SOUND?

The process of regrowing the devastated part of Pessiria forest is well underway, but the process does not go entirely smoothly. Partway through the process, locals start to report that they can hear a strange girl laughing in the forest in the middle of the night, but no one seems able to track down its source. Curious Chosen can patrol around the forest at night to try and figure out the mystery.

Those who are particularly sharp-eyed might see a faint spectre of a little girl wearing a straw hat dancing about, but she never seems to stay in sight for more than a few seconds. One blink is all it takes for her to vanish.

You probably won’t be able to catch this strange spectre, but it’s become something of a game among the villagers to go looking for her anyways. Some say that seeing her is a sign of good luck, and wave to her before she disappears. Others say that if you see her while holding hands, it will bless you with a lifetime of good love. Almost all of these assertions are probably nonsense- but what will you do about it?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So I've heard, apparently, it wasn't extremely pleasant.

(thank you, sigma, for telling him all this information beforehand. it's a loop, isn't it? they can't find peace while they're on opposite sides, two shadows that search light in different directions. sad, as it is. )

It has happened, Fy, against our will. This place might even bring Crime and Corruption out, and I don't think that's a gamble you'd like to take without me present.

Don't worry, I will not fail to kill you. I would hate to let you down like that.

[ someone has told dazai all this, nikolai? no. ] Very kind of someone to inform you in advance of these events, I'm afraid you have me at a clear disadvantage here.

[ so maybe killing dazai is a necessity. ] Do you really think I'd care if Corruption decimates this entire town and everyone in it? I do not.

[ crime and punishment, however, is a different matter. ]

Ah, no? Crime and Punishment, uncontrolled? A small brush, and it'd be the end, wouldn't it? Or perhaps, Nikol's Overcoat? A pity you find no place in your heart to care about these things.

(so, killing dazai would not be smart, would it now? illogical.)

So, my dearest. Will you play along?

[ unlike corruption, crime and punishment is, he is—

but dismissal of concerns might tip off dazai. especially if: ] Should you not be more concerned with Sigma surviving those? I can survive just fine.

[ killing dazai is always the logical decision. not having killed him before, now that is the illogical part. the stab, the shooting, even the game— ]

My dearest, why do you think you can keep Gogol from killing me? Why do you think you can keep Chuuya-san, Sigma-kun, or even yourself?

It's simple. We need each other. I need your brain. Chuuya needs my brain. Gogol wants to kill you, but he's agreed to hold off, and besides, I have a guard dog, don't I?

(fyodor certainly knows how chuuya is - he had taken control of him, after all. whether he is concerned about sigma or not, that makes no part of the conversation. he's got a plan, as he always does.)

Darling, you must answer, or else, I might as well just drop you tied to a rock at the bottom of this ocean, as unfortunate to me that would be.

[ second time to call him darling; fyodor wonders if there is irony intended in the name. sarcasm? taunt? the gunshot wound that is slowly healing seems to wake up and make itself aware; fyodor is vulnerable. he hates it. he loathes it. he would rather crawl through hot coals than be faced with whatever dazai holds over him.

he places his elbows on the stone, arms folded as he watches dazai from the corner of his eye. the threat makes him smile. ]

It is a very nice ocean, a watery grave to cleanse away sin. [ that's not an answer and he knows it. ]

(how rotten both of them are. he wouldn't enjoy it perse, but he wouldn't hate it. if anything, that smile would be the last pleasurable thing to have come out of it.

fyodor doesn't want to play, it seems. perhaps it's a bit too much, and quite frankly, dazai too doesn't like the state of how things must start over. a sigh, quiet, and he wonders if he touched fyodor - would that do something to him? perhaps remind him? certainly, it wouldn't. would it remind dazai?

he's too much of a coward. it's best to stare at the grave that they both might rest upon one day.)

[ if things were different, fyodor would trail a hand along dazai's shoulder--tenderly both drawing him close and pushing him towards the sea. ] Very well, if you must demand my answer to be stated verbally: yes, I will cooperate.

But you must understand why I won't fully do so. [ they're not equals here, fyodor is at a disadvantage. the life dazai has built here has no place for fyodor and without his webs how much is he still who he's meant to be? and he himself--

the logical choice is to kill dazai, and yet he's not. that's a desire that isn't a product of the interactions within this world, but of one before. that fyodor does know in the back of his mind. ]

There are no guarantees for me in this world. [ of course he only values blackmail and information and suffering. the currency he's worked with all his life. loyalty and trust have no place in his world. ]

My dearest, in this world, there are no guarantees for anyone. I've fought Corruption, I've fought Nikols. If you won't cooperate as I ask, I cannot make you. I can simply ask, as we walk through uncertainty ourselves. Much like myself, it's not a place you must be comfortable in.

(which is why, together, things feel lighter. a deception loop, both of them, attempts to put together a puzzle that the other has made on the spot, all too easy. predicting and deducing had never been too hard when they knew the rules of their world.

here, it's another story.)

"My dearest"...Is this how you convinced me to cooperate last time? [ his tone is slightly amused even as there was a very clear frown present at the nickname assigned to gogol. in truth, he's always known he cannot trust anyone but he had been hoping to sway the other to aid him. that seems unlikely now, not unless fyodor can give gogol a better reason-which ultimately detracts from the goal of escaping this place. ]

And yet this place you've found yourself in you also formed bonds within. That seems so easy for all to do. [ but impossible for fyodor.

he steps back, walking behind dazai; the barest brush of fingers along his back. ]

You know it isn't. You don't fall for my words that easily, Fyodor.

(it's not with words or half-assed promises that he got that kiss. neither was it how he got those shoes, the ones he doesn't wear, because they had been a thoughtful gift to a barefoot man in his prison uniform. it was with work, understanding, attempts to see, to truly comprehend - although, with fyodor in this position, dazai might never have it again.

unfortunate, it's what he gets for wanting something, isn't it? it all goes away too quickly. it almost makes him want to flinch from the fingers, which he doesn't.)

Survival is truly a blessing, isn't it?

No, I cannot imagine words would've won me over, but you do have the advantage right now to coerce me to agree. You know that and so do I, otherwise threatening to drown me would have made you pause twice. [ hes not in the slightest bit offended by the threat, it's normal. ]

Survival is a curse, the world is awash with sin. People are foolish, no matter how much they know it's wrong, they cannot stop themselves from sinning.

[ as long as crime is committed, punishment is required. don't you see, dazai? he's just as tired of living as you. ]

I wouldn't coerce you to do anything other than work with me. Everything else, that is up to you. I'm not interested in caging you otherwise.

(just to keep the crime and punishment part of fyodor in check. everything else? free will.)

We've had this conversation. People are foolish, so what?

Aren't you, dearest? [ despite the way his tone lilts at the endearment the question is in earnest. there are more than one way of caging someone. ] I will cooperate because I wish to see where you're going with this.

[ and because dazai has knowledge and connections in this world that fyodor needs to find for himself. disagreeing to cooperate is foolish and he is not foolish. he lets his fingers drop from the light touch on dazai's back as he paces to stand on his other side.

amazing too, not just what a lack of memories can do to a person, but sheer minutes. being cold and wet and escaping that made for a far more pleasant fyodor than one who has been shot and cornered by sigma. he's not angry but he's less willing to show those tendrils of consideration he had before when he and dazai arrived at the same time and he'd bought him shoes out of impulse. ]

That's good enough for me.

(whatever 'this' that is what fyodor is implying to be curious about. either way, he's tired - been tired for a couple of weeks. brain depleted of hormones, feet hurting into a puddle, making it harder to walk, which is why he'll only stand up after fyodor is gone.

being good is a task that is still hard for him to fulfill. fyodor near him is danger, pulls him right into those dark places in his mind that he can't seem to brighten. he can't want it. he can't lose it.

appreciate what it had been. move on.)

[ fortunately for all involved, fyodor is a being of his word: an agreement is a bargain struck and kept. he might obfuscate his intentions or sin by omission but he doesn't lie outright.

a palm against dazai's cheek, so light, so careful because nullifier or not crime and punishment is a real threat even with that assurance. then without any finesse or skill, he presses their mouths together briefly.

it lacks the warm devotion of the one single gesture between them. this is almost, not quite, a provocation--dear, darling, dearest. is this the key to the right answer fyodor wants?

he's no good at this. it's difficult. it's complicated. he cannot just warm a bed without consequence- if dear, darling, dearest means something he needs to not just know but to be certain. had dazai infected him so deeply? is he compromised? what part of himself must he cut out? ]

(he'd been stuck in his thoughts for now, expression nothing but the placehold smile as he listened to the waves. he's crashed, he's resurfaced, and he's here. fyodor does what he says, not a man of deception to the same degree as dazai, whose words can be weighed as mostly bullshit.

truthful, however, is the surprise on his face at the skin, for someone who had hated touching him before. someone who made him fight for the opportunity in little steps, little actions, until he could hold the hand that holds him. the kiss is even more so. he had tried that as well, failing miserably, to the point an innocent kiss to the forehead felt surprisingly enough.

he can taste the inexperience in fyodor's lips, and that's why he too keeps it a simple touch. warm, chaste, perhaps holy.)

[ he hates touching dazai, that is true now, but fyodor is first and foremost a tactician. he weighed the risk of touching versus not and took a risk, but even if the kiss is soft and chaste it also lacks everything. it's not a lie nor a deception, but a mimicry of what he estimates a kiss to be like after having observed it in others. it's neither kind nor unkind, warm nor cold. it is perfunctury, and inexperienced; offering while at the same time making no promises.

fyodor breaks off first, tries to spot the lie in a passing moment that he spotted genuine surprise in dazai's skin. ]

Not lovers then. [ not just allies, friends? or whatever passes for friendship between people like them? no. simply an agreement? ]

(he senses it on his lips. it's not genuine on both parts. dazai wishes to give him a kiss that is as telling as it could replace any words between them, but not at the expense of scarying fyodor away from him in his inexperience. also pressed against him isn't particularly real, he's sure this is not the taste of a kiss fyodor truly wants, after all. inexperience matters little, but he knows too much - too much about this, too.

not lovers, but not due to their lack of trying. dazai turned down advances, simply due to the nature of their roots - fixing, rather than discovering. fyodor too, later, denied it.

the punctuation of that, while fyodor has no context for it, makes dazai roll his eyes quite dramatically before pulling the man closer by the waist. a kiss - a real one, at least, should be given before that is so punctually decided.)

[ there is a surprised sound that escapes the russian ability-user as he's pulled closer; dazai is stronger, for sure, and he winces feeling the pull of his shoulder—the stitches hold the gunshot wound, it's fine; he can mask it, he can hide the weakness as he presses closer by the force of gravity.

he freezes, not in fear or disgust. fyodor uses one palm to steady himself, keep them from toppling over the edge of the bridge and into the water. what is he supposed to do? harsh biting cold, deprivation, denial, the edge of a knife and weight of a gun: the things he knows intimately.

this he does not know. ]

(not at all a surprise to see fyodor frozen as such. even if he had done this before, if he had found the time, fyodor is a man of discipline, of methodical action - kissing, or thinking to be kissed, doesn't make the list of things he puts on his back as responsibilities or pleasures of him. it involves someone else, after all, and that part is also a difference they face. the distant and the close, the warm and cold, the embracing dark and the breaking one.

there's no forceful touch. the wrapped arm is loose, the kiss slow, albeit less controlled than the other. exploratory, one would say. if he didn't have control of his heart, it'd be audible to hear.)

[ his free hand involuntarily lifts to rest beneath dazai's jaw, crime and punishment crackling along the surface but not activated. there is no consciousness to this progression, he's not actively urging his ability forward, it seems to have reacted to the touch and the lack of balance it seeds within fyodor.

he lets himself be pulled in, as if drawn by the tide; lips parted as he lets dazai kiss him. its not like he knows what he's doing, still puzzled by dazai's decision to do this. is it mockery? taunt? no, it doesn't seem to be any of those. ]

(he can't feel the ability, not when it can't reach him. none can. solitary, isn't it? fyodor has his own set of friends, and dazai mustn't ever feel them. a piece he can only observe, but never touch - much like everyone else.

fingers, long and slender, caress the man's cheek, thumb against the small of his back attempting to comfort. it's gentle, a silent way to tell him that it's fine as he steals fyodor's lips to himself.

the kiss ends with a peck, a smile, eyes too close to the other's in search of a response. it's not a taunt. it's an invitation.)

[ working out his hypothesis in parts does not take long; the premise is this: a kiss, given as a test, then returned with a layer of emotion and skill fyodor is himself unfamiliar with.

the meaning is a: unclear, b: lacks context, c: a trap. what can be surmised: it may be a product of his time here before, how or why is vague enough. and fyodor isn't stupid, so he skips past those implications because he certainly cannot see himself kissing another living being in this life or the next and instead settles on: ]

You're disappointed I don't remember.

Disappointed? No, it's not your fault. Perhaps... Oh, it hardly matters, does it?

(part of him is thankful. he did turn down fyodor, which made his life harder a little later. this time, perhaps, it's a little interesting, having so much knowledge about fyodor he has hardly even accessed yet.

a last gentle kiss before he goes back to looking at the sea. perhaps fyodor is not the only one who has to process these things, not that he leaves that as something obvious. instead, he just throws a rock at the water below.)

It seems a little deeper than we thought. Shall we swim, Fyfy?

TEST DRIVE MEME #3

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