Well, oh well, if you don't, well, I guess, well... I'll starve, of course! You know I can't cook! I just got here, so I don't have any money!

(bullshit one - he won't starve. it's dazai. bullshit two, he CAN cook, he just, you know, takes creative liberties sometimes, and it's easier to have the path of least effort if people actually believe that, and three -- he has conned some bets already. of course he has money.)