(whatever 'this' that is what fyodor is implying to be curious about. either way, he's tired - been tired for a couple of weeks. brain depleted of hormones, feet hurting into a puddle, making it harder to walk, which is why he'll only stand up after fyodor is gone.
being good is a task that is still hard for him to fulfill. fyodor near him is danger, pulls him right into those dark places in his mind that he can't seem to brighten. he can't want it. he can't lose it.
no subject
(whatever 'this' that is what fyodor is implying to be curious about. either way, he's tired - been tired for a couple of weeks. brain depleted of hormones, feet hurting into a puddle, making it harder to walk, which is why he'll only stand up after fyodor is gone.
being good is a task that is still hard for him to fulfill. fyodor near him is danger, pulls him right into those dark places in his mind that he can't seem to brighten. he can't want it. he can't lose it.
appreciate what it had been. move on.)